Pumpkin Pole

Tonight during dessert, while admiring her freshly carved pumpkin ...

Megan: Raise your hand if you like my pumpkin!

Amanda and I raised our hands.

Megan: Okay, so that's Mom 1, Amanda 2, Me 3, if Dad were in here he'd raise his hand 4, the dogs 5, 6 . . . . . . and I'm sure God likes it so 7, yay!

What is it with bedtime anyway?!

Can't kids just go to bed like normal people? Apparently not. Tonight after I'd sent Megan to go brush her teeth, I swept through the house picking up all the stuff that the girls had left behind. As I was headed down the hall to deposit the items into the appropriate rooms, I saw Megan crawling ever so slowly towards the bathroom.

Me: Megan, get in the bathroom and brush your teeth already.

Megan: I need you to brush them for me.

Me: Uh, no. Go brush your teeth, NOW.

Megan: I can't do it myself.

Me: Yes you can. If I can pick up all of YOUR stuff, YOU can certainly brush YOUR teeth.

Megan: I can't.

Me: Give me one good reason why you can't brush your own teeth.

Megan: Because I'm crawling.

Self Esteem is A-OK

My mom was so good about building up my self-esteem while I was growing up. Always complimenting me on how I looked. She was especially complimentary of my legs. That might sound strange, but I'm 5'6, and she's just under 5'2, so to her, my long legs were something to be envied.

Mom: Tamara, have you thanked the Lord lately for your long legs?

Me: No, mother.

Mom: Well you should. So many women would love to have legs like yours.

We had exchanges like this all the time. Sometimes it was the legs, sometimes it was my clear complexion, my hair color ... you get the idea. She not only helped me feel good about myself, but reminded me to not take any of it for granted. As such, to this day I still thank God for my legs, complexion, etc!

Okay, fast forward 25-30 years, and now I'm in the car with my eldest daughter Amanda. I think to myself all the time how beautiful my girls are, but I don't tell them that. Why? I have no idea. But today it struck me that I need to build my girls up like my Mom did for me so many years ago. Amanda is 9, almost 10, and as lame as it sounds, there was part of me that was worried it was too late to start.

Here's how the conversation went ...

Me: Amanda, you're so pretty.

Amanda: Huh?

Me: You're so pretty.

Amanda: I think so too, thanks! You're pretty too, mom.

Me: Thanks.

Yeah, I don't think I'm gonna' have to worry about her.

Where's the Justice?

So it's cold now (yay!) Oh, and cold for Fresno is mid 50's in the morning, climbing up to mid 60's in the late afternoon. It's been absolutely glorious. Unless, of course, you're my eldest daughter, and have no jeans or sweats that fit you (except for one pair of hand-me-down jeans received this past weekend! Thank you, Jen!!) Yeah, cooler weather isn't as fun if you're COLD. Okay, so she wore those jeans I mentioned on Monday. I washed them last night so she could wear them again today, with high hopes of hitting Target after school and getting her dialed in for winter wear.

Well, if you can believe it ... Target had nothing that would fit her. This was fine with her though, because she wanted to go shopping at Justice. Since I'd found some good deals there over the summer (especially when everything was like 40% off for weeks on end) so I was optimistic.

But then we arrived at Justice.

I'm assuming from the way the girl that greeted us kept hanging around, that she works on commission. She asked what we were looking for, and I told her "warm clothes", to which she assured me that I'd "come to the right place." What I should have said was, "warm AFFORDABLE clothes." I kept looking for sale prices, but guess what? THERE WERE NONE. Of course that didn't stop Sales Sally from trying to sell us some extras ...

Sales Gal: I noticed you're picking out a lot of sweats. Can I suggest some of these cute camisoles to go with them?

Me: No. (How's that for a straight answer? Couldn't even muster up a "No, thank you.")

Sales Gal: Oh. Alright.

Long story short, Amanda found 1 pair of sweat pants and 1 long sleeve t-shirt for FIFTY DOLLAR$!! Isn't that a great deal?! Yeah. Where's the JUSTICE in that, I'd like to know?!

After buying the two items (I know, I know! I can't believe I did it either. I had a knot in my stomach throughout the entire transaction.) I called my husband who recommended going to another store after we finished attending our school's fundraiser dinner tonight. So that's what we did, and guess what? We found 3x as much there for the same price! Yes, we'll be RETURNING our INjustice items tomorrow for a full refund, thankyouverymuch.

Physical Education

Amanda came into my office after school, completely exasperated ...

Amanda: Now we have BASKETBALL for P.E. instead of football. Yuck!

Me: You like football better than basketball?

Amanda: No! I don't like P.E.!!



I knew she took after me. I just didn't know how much, until now.

Say No to Glow

I don't think our family is meant to attend football games. By the 3rd quarter, Megan is usually running on fumes having been up since 6:00 AM (okay, the alarm goes off at 6:00 AM, but she isn't actually "up" until 6:30ish, and by "ish" I mean 7:00 AM) and the games go past 10:00 PM ... it's just too much for one day, I guess.

This past Friday night was the school's Homecoming game, so there was more hoopla and activity than usual, which is why Megan happened to find a glow stick on the field. You know how you activate those things by bending them a little? Well Meg thought if she bent it several times, it would glow even more. Guess what? It glowed more alright ... right into her EYE. That's right, it broke open and squirted into her right eye. Yeah, not fun. At all. Because apparently that glow-y stuff stings (Parents, please make a note of this.) We tried to get her to wash her eye out, but she decided it would hurt less to hold a wet napkin on top of her eye. Needless to say, we left shortly after the glow-stick-explosion-into-the-eye incident, because she was crying more and more.

Once we got home, we put some saline drops in her eye, which she said made it sting worse. Next up: making her get in the bathtub and open her eyes under water like she was swimming. That (thank the Lord) seemed to take care of it.

Now ... after all that glow stick trauma, imagine my shock when the very next afternoon, I picked Megan up from a birthday party, and what do you think she's sporting around her neck? ANOTHER GLOW STICK, only BIGGER with MORE EYE-STINGING LIQUID INSIDE OF IT!!!

I shouldn't be surprised, really. When have I ever learned a lesson the first time around?

Bangles @ Bedtime

It was bedtime, and I was following Megan down the hall to make sure she actually got into bed this time. She was headed in the right direction, but moving very slowly ...

Me: Meg, why are you walking so slow?

Megan: I'm an Egyptian.

Me: Of course you are.

And yes, I immediately began singing this song by The Bangles in my head, as would any other teen from the 80's.

Math Mom

Megan: Mom, what's 5 x 2 ?

Me: 10.

Megan: Uh, Amanda, what's 5 x 2 ?

Amanda: 10.

Me: Excuse me? I already said that.

Megan: I know, but I wanted to make sure.

Me: You wanted to make sure, by checking with Amanda?! You really think she's better at math than me? She's 9!

Amanda: Well Mom, it has been a while since you've done math.

Me: Whatever. (And yes, I rolled my eyes.)

Super Size Me

Megan: Mom, can you put some of those vanilla Oreos we just got in my lunch tomorrow?

Me: Sure.

Megan: Seven please.

Me: Seven?! Try again.

Megan: Okay, six.

Me: Lets look and see what a serving is ... okay, three cookies is considered a serving.

Megan: Fine. I'll take four.

Me: Deal.

Nostalgia ... or not.

On the drive to school ...

Me: Hey Meg, see that green van in front of us?

Megan: Yeah?

Me: That's the kind of car we drove back when you were baby.

Megan: Don't care (yawn).

Wow.

Be Thou My Vision

Last Thursday night ...

Megan: Mom, tomorrow is the eye test thing at school.

Me: Yes, it is.

Megan: They have to make the letters bigger if you don't know 'em.

Me: Yes, they do.

Megan: And if I don't know the letters, I'll have to get glasses (smile).

Me: Yes, but don't not know them on purpose just so you can get glasses. You have to be honest about what you can see.

Megan: Staring, still smiling, but not replying.

Me: Megan, do not pretend that you can't read the letters if you actually can read the letters. Got it?

Megan: I'm hungry.

Great. Someone please tell me that those vision tester people can tell when a kid is pretending to have bad vision.

Pets?!

Megan walked into my office after school and announced that she had a grasshopper in her backpack.

Me: You have a what in your backpack?

Meg: A grasshopper.

Me: Is it in a bag or something?

Meg: No. I told you, it's in my BACKPACK.

Me: Yeah, I got that part. So it's just free in there? If we open the backpack, it could just fly right out at us? Is that what you're telling me?

Meg gave me one of those "I guess I didn't quite think this all the way through" smile, then slowly unzipped the backpack, reached in and pulled it out (Eww! I specifically had girls so I wouldn't have to deal with this bug stuff!)

Meg: See Mom, it's not flying around in there.

Me: Fine, but it's NOT coming home with us, got it?

Meg: I'll get some styrofoam cups. It'll be fine.

To make a long blog short, she trapped the little grasshopper in between 2 cups taped together and poked several times with holes. No food. No water. This is what she does.

A few hours later, my husband and I agreed that it was time to set the grasshopper free. This did not go over well with Meg.

Meg (crying): But I want to keep it for a pet!

Me: We have 2 dogs. We don't need a grasshopper.

Meg: Fine, but when our dogs die I'M GETTING ANOTHER GRASSHOPPER! Or ... a hamster. Or maybe a parakeet.

Me: We'll discuss that if and when our dogs ever die.

Or if they run away again after the pest control guy leaves the gate to the backyard open like he did today! But that's a blog for another day ...

Communion: Take 2

Yesterday was communion Sunday. The last communion service didn't go so well, but I had big hopes for this one.

Our pastor announced it was time for communion. Megan looked at me and whispered loudly, "Yes! We're having communion today!" (Megan reeeally likes communion. Unfortunately, it's not for the reason most Christians like communion. For Megan it's more about getting to eat in church.)

The elements were passed out. Megan nudges me and holds up her wafer.

Megan: I wish we had a bunch of these at home. I love them sooooo much.

Me: Shhh.

Megan: Hey, I could use this to get my loose tooth out!

Me: Please don't.

Megan: Mom, can I have your cup when we're done?

Me: Sure.

Megan: Awesome! (turns to Amanda) Mom said I could have her cup!

Amanda: Shhh!

We took communion, sang a song and were dismissed.

Then Megan disappeared.

I looked over to see her collecting used communion cups.

At least she waited for the congregants to drink the juice first, right? Right.

20/20

Megan doesn't need glasses, but loves to wear them.

This afternoon she was wearing her accessory glasses when her friend Nikki from down the street came over to play.

Nikki: Megan, did you go to the eye doctor?

Megan: No.

Nikki: Have you ever been?

Megan: Mom?

Me: No, Nikki, she's never been to the eye doctor. But they do have vision screening at school every year, so she's been tested already.

Nikki: Well I went to the eye doctor and it's a good thing, you know why?

Me: Why?

Nikki: Because I'm not blind.

Me: Wow.

Don't Smoke & Ride

Fresno is always good for people watching. The other day as we were driving, Amanda spotted a guy riding a bicycle.

Amanda: Mom, why is that guy smoking a cigarette while riding a bicycle?

Mom: Why IS he?! That's a very good question. He's doing something healthy and unhealthy at the same time. Crazy.

Amanda: Yeah. Crazy.

Apparently not all THAT crazy. I googled images for smoking cyclists, and was shocked to find more than one photo of someone smoking while cycling. What is wrong with these people?!

After finding the photos above, I kept looking and found the signs below. They probably wouldn't have stopped these men from smoking and riding, but I still think they're worth sharing.

Pretty much says it all, doesn't it?

I personally don't think guide dogs should smoke, but maybe that's just me.

Thinking of putting this one up on our patio. Not only do I not want our dogs riding bikes, but I certainly don't want them smoking while they do it.

Amen.

Fakin' It

Amanda: Mom, Megan just laughed at my drawing.

Megan: No, I didn't.

Amanda: Yes, you did. You always laugh at my school work.

Megan: I was fake laughing.

Amanda: You can't fake laugh.

Megan: Yes you can, watch. I'm going to fake laugh at the fireplace right now. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. See? Fake laugh.

Amanda: Mom!

Me: Megan, no more fake laughing (because I'm gonna' start real laughing in a second.)

You say Tomato ...

Amanda: Mom, have you seen my student id card?

Me: No.

Amanda: I can't find it anywhere.

Me: Have you checked your purse?

Amanda: My purse?! I don't have a purse.

Me: Uh, the brown one with flowers on it? Remember that purse?

Amanda: Oh! That's not a purse, that's a handbag.

Right.

Notes from Meg

All this week, the girls have 1/2 days because of parent/teacher conferences in the afternoons. So that means I get to try and work while keeping them entertained. Good times.

I've learned to come equipped with books, electronics (portable DVD player, hand-held gaming devices, etc.) Oh, and snacks are a MUST. Popcorn seems to be a favorite, in case you were wondering.

Today the girls got a little bonus when our school registrar gave them an expired First-Aid kit. A couple rounds of "school nurse" only lasted about 20 minutes, but it was a glorious 20 minutes.

Amanda finally hunkered down with a Nancy Drew book, which meant that Megan needed attention. She asked for a pen and some scratch paper. Pretty soon I began getting notes ...

Note #1) I'm hungry MOM.

I verbally replied: Well, you haven't you eaten your lunch yet, so you can have that.

Note #2) NO I Can't.

I then suggested that she get a granola bar out of my drawer.

Note #3) Thank you.

About 15 minutes later ...

Note #4) When are we going to are house!!!!!!!

Me: 1 hour and 15 minutes.

Note #5) Can I wach a move?

I assumed she meant that she wanted to watch a "movie", not watch some of her mom's cool "moves".

I was right (her loss).

Sigh. 2 days down; 3 to go ...

Tooth Fairy ... Who Me?

Megan announced after school today that she has a loose tooth. This is GREAT news, because the adult tooth has already been in for a few months. I don't remember this kind of thing happening to kids when I was growing up, but nowadays just about every kid I know has the same phenomenon going on in their mouth. It's like a bunch of little sharks running around with their 2 rows of teeth. What has changed in the last 35 years? I blame Aspartame ... or Otter Pops.

Megan: Mom, my tooth is loose!

Me: Finally!

Megan: I know! Mom?

Me: Yeah?

Megan: Where do you keep all our teeth?

Me: What makes you think I have your teeth?

Megan: Well, you said you were the Easter Bunny, so you're probably the Tooth Fairy too.

Me: Uh ... if I am the Tooth Fairy, and do have your teeth somewhere, why do you want to know?

Megan: I miss them. I want to see if I can put them back in the holes.

Me: It doesn't work that way. Besides, you can't have them back because you already got paid for them. That's part of the deal.

Megan: Well then, I hope I get 3 dollars for this tooth.

Me: Not gonna' happen. I mean ... we'll see.

Oh, who am I kidding? Just yesterday the girls were giving me candy orders for their Christmas stockings. Might as well face it ... the jig is up. WAY up.

Look Out: Meg's Got Money!

How would YOU spend $15.00?

If you were Megan, you would buy:

Scooby Doo Silly Bandz

White Nail Polish

Green Nail Polish (are you seeing a theme here?)

Teal Nail Polish

Fake Nails (decorated like strawberries)

More Fake Nails (decorated with Hello Kitty)

Grow Your Own Carrots kit

Tic Tacs (gotta have fresh breath with those fake nails)

Side Note: When I was trying to help Meg find an outfit for church this morning, I suggested the blue/black top you see in the photo above, along with a black skirt. All of a sudden she got this look in her eyes and said, "Wait! I've got it!" The next thing I knew, she was tossing the skirt aside for some black leggings with sequins around the hem, and her black and blue high-tops. What can I say? The girl's got style, and she's not afraid to use it.