Saturday, December 12, 2015

Parents versus Google

Christmas is thirteen days away, and the number one item on Megan's wish list is a hamster.

My husband and I both know what it's like to care for (or neglect) one of these rodents, and are less than eager to purposely welcome one into our home. Nevertheless, Meg is determined to get her wish.

A couple of weeks ago she reminded me that a hamster was at the top of her list. I assured her that I was aware of this, but didn't think it was going to happen.

MEGAN:  Fine. I'll just Google 'how to convince your parents to get you a hamster!'

ME:  Go ahead. Knock yourself out.

Later that evening she called me back to her room, which is next to the bathroom she and her sister share.

ME:  Yes?

MEGAN:  Have you looked at the bathroom lately?

ME:  No, why?

MEGAN:  Go look.

I walked over and turned on the bathroom light, expecting to see the post tornado disaster it usually is, but was shocked to see it clean and tidy.

ME:  Wow, Meg. Did you do that?

MEGAN:  Yes, I did, withOUT being asked.

ME:  Very nice, thank you.

MEGAN:  Step one - do your chores without being asked.

ME:  What?

MEGAN:  Step one on how to convince your parents to get you a hamster.

ME:  Oh.

MEGAN:  I'll be cleaning my room next, withOUT being asked.

ME:  Great.

The next day ...

MEGAN:  Mom?

ME:  Yeah?

MEGAN:  What is it about hamsters that you don't like?

ME:  The cages are a pain to clean.

MEGAN:  I helped my friend clean her hamster's cage, and it was super easy. What else?

ME:  They stink.

MEGAN:  Did you know that there's lavender scented hamster bedding now that really helps with that?

ME:  No, I did not.

MEGAN leaning in close:  Step two - research.

A few days later, I was sitting on the couch when she sat down next to me with her school laptop.

MEGAN:  Do you have a few minutes?

ME:  Sure.

MEGAN:  Good, because I've prepared a PowerPoint presentation.

ME:  You've GOT to be kidding.

MEGAN:  Nope. Step three - PowerPoint.

She proceeded to show me 5-7 slides, complete with pictures, displaying all the reasons why she should get a hamster!!

You guys. It was all, and I mean ALL, I could do to not take her to Pet Smart ON THE SPOT. I mean, COME ON. A freaking PowerPoint presentation?! Seriously, Google? That's hitting below the belt. What parent could resist such creative tenacity???

I'll tell you who, her father. 

There's a saying, "If it's not Dutch, it's not much." I have found this to be quite true when it comes to my Dutch husband holding his ground. So when I relayed all of this hamster harassment to him, he got a chuckle out of it, but was not swayed in the least. 

And so, it looks like Google may have lost this round, but with Christmas right around the corner, I shutter to think what might be coming next.

And no, I'm NOT gonna Google it!