If the seat fits ...

Megan:  Where are you going?


Me:  To Orchard Supply to return this toilet seat.


Megan:  Why?


Me:  It's the wrong size.


Megan:  The wrong size for our 4 butts?


Me:  Uh, no. The wrong size for the toilet.

Carol Brady: Offender

So far I've purchased seasons 1, 2 & 3 of The Brady Bunch for my girls. They love them almost as much as I do.  


The other day ...


Megan:  Amanda, it's your turn to pick an episode.


Amanda:  Um, how about one from season 3?


Megan:  NO!!  I will NOT watch season 3 ANYMORE!


Amanda:  Why not?  What's wrong with season 3?


Megan:  Mrs. Brady's HAIR!!  Have you SEEN it?!  It's TERRIBLE!!


Me:  Oh, it's not that bad, is it?

Megan:  MOM.  It's all short like a boy in the front, and then long like a girl in the back!! Show her Amanda.






Me:  Oh yeah.

Tooth Fairy FAIL

Yesterday Amanda informed me that her tooth had come out.  But that wasn't the big news.  The BIG news was that for the first time in her 11+ years, she was actually going to put the tooth under her pillow for the Tooth Fairy! (Yes, she knows it's me.)  Up until now, she's been holding out. 


Amanda:  So I'm going to put this under my pillow.


Me:  Okay, but do the Tooth Fairy a favor and make it easy to get to.


Amanda:  How about if I put it in this little pink box?


Me:  Perfect.


The next morning,  while I'm blow-drying my hair, she comes into the bathroom shaking a pink box in my face.


Me:  Knock it off, Amanda. What is your deal?!


She just kept shaking it in my face.


And then I got it.  The TOOTH!!!  I completely forgot to cash out her tooth. Ugh!!!


Me:  Oh Amanda, I'm so sorry.


Amanda:  That's okay.  Tonight I'm going to put TWO teeth under my pillow.


Me:  Got it.


Apparently I've got a gambler on my hands. Double or nothing, I guess, huh?