"Smiling"

The girls got to cheer for our high school boys basketball playoff game last night. VERY COOL.

Now you know I had to get a photo of them, so I went over to the cheer section expecting all smiles, but instead was greeted with ...

Amanda: Mom, she's crowding me!

Megan: I am not!

Amanda: She is too!! Make her MOVE!!

Me: Wait, let me get a picture first. SMILE!!






















And yes, the entire time Amanda was smiling, she was saying through gritted teeth: Make her MOVE!!!!

Precious, isn't it?

SO glad I was able to capture this loving moment. :)

Dark Circles

Amanda while looking in the mirror: I hate these dark circles under my eyes.

Me: Dark circles are usually from lack of sleep.

Amanda: No, I've always had them.

Me: Well, they must not be that noticeable, because I've never noticed them before. Or maybe I'm just used to them.

Amanda: You mean like how dad's knees crack when he squats, but I don't notice that much anymore?

Me: Uh, yeah, I guess.

Amanda: Of course, he doesn't squat much any more.

Me: Right.

My Pretties

Last night the girls and I went to Panda Express for dinner. Yes, that's right ... two nights in a row. Amanda caught me at a weak moment and asked if we could go, and since Megan missed out the previous night, well, we went AGAIN.

While we were eating our dinner, a man walked by, and on his way out ...

Man: You have pretty girls.

Me: Thank you.

Megan: What did he say?

Me: He said I have pretty girls.

Megan looks at Amanda: Wait, you're not pretty.


I wish you could have been there to see the look on Megan's face when she said that. So perfectly dead-pan. I was so impressed with her delivery, but of course couldn't compliment her because, yeah, that was really naughty.

Panda with Amanda

It's pretty rare for me to have the opportunity to eat dinner with just one of my daughters, but that's exactly what happened last night.

Megan was with a friend, so Amanda & I headed straight for Panda Express!

The cool thing about being with just one daughter, is that there's no one fighting for my attention.

Well, no one fighting, period.

So Amanda just talked, and talked, and talked some more.

In fact, after about 10 minutes she looked up and said, "I talk a lot, don't I?"

I said, "That's okay. I know that someday you won't want to talk to me at all, so I'll take it while I can get it."

She thought that was ridiculous.

If only.

Mean Girls

There was pound cake at church Sunday morning, and Megan was THRILLED. Amanda took note.

After Sunday School, Amanda made it back to the buffet before Megan, to see what was left.

Amanda: Mom, look! I got the last slice of pound cake!

Me: Great.

Amanda: Megan's gonna' be so mad.

Me: She won't know that you're the one who ate the last piece, she'll just see that it's all gone.

Amanda: Oh she'll know alright, because I'm gonna' tell her!

Me: Why would you do that?!

Amanda: Because I'm MEAN!!!

Me: Wow, Amanda.

About 10 minutes later ...

Amanda: Hey, Megan.

Megan: Yeah?

Amanda: I ate the last piece of pound cake.

Megan: You're MEAN!!!

Mission accomplished.

But don't feel too sorry for Megan. If anyone can hold her own, it's her.

Later that afternoon, she got Amanda back by hitting her American Girl doll in the face with the Wii remote, and for the second time that day I heard the phrase, "You're MEAN!!"






Ahh ... sisters.

Mom = No Privacy

I know I've written about this before, but I'm still amazed every time one of my kids barges in on me while I'm in the bathroom eliminating. Why they can't just talk to me outside the bathroom door, or better yet, wait until I'm finished, is beyond me.

A few days ago it happened again ...

Megan: Mom!!

Me once again wishing I could just poop in peace, but our bathroom door doesn't lock: Don't come in here!

Megan completely disregarding my request: Oooh, it stinks in here!!

Me: Serves you right for walkin' in on me.

Megan: Are you done?

Me: Does it smell like I'm done?

Megan: Nope.

So she left, but because of her abrupt intrusion, I was no longer in a relaxed state, and therefore could not continue with the business at hand. So it turns out I was done after all.

Honestly ... will the sacrifices never end?

Purchasing Punctuation

A couple weeks ago, our school had a visitor. She had moved here from England and was hanging out in Amanda's 5th grade classroom to see what it would be like to attend our school. Apparently visitors like that are called a Shadow.

Amanda: The Shadow was so funny today.

Me: Oh yeah?

Amanda: Yeah. One of the girls was going on and on and on about something, like she always does. You know, not even stopping to take a breath. Finally the Shadow said, 'Would you like to buy a period?'

Me: That's awesome.

Amanda: I know, right?

Me: I'm totally gonna' use that.

Of course, it probably won't be as funny without the accent, but still.

Ole'! It's Valentine's Day!!

Valentine's Day is a great excuse to NOT COOK DINNER!! Now if I could just come up with another 364 excuses for the rest of the year!

So we went to Chevy's for dinner.

Towards the end of it, Megan became enraptured with this mural on the wall:

Megan: Look at that lady! She's a flamingo!

Me: A flamingo?

Megan: Yeah, she only has one leg, look!

Me: No, her other foot is behind her skirt, see?

Megan: No, that's a fake foot.

Me: A fake foot? Sewn onto the back of her skirt? Why, so no one will know she's really a flamingo?

Megan: Yep.

Sister Wars: Below the Belt

Last week were parent/teacher conferences at our school. That meant everyday was a half day. And THAT meant that everyday, except for one, the girls had to hang out for 4 hours while I worked. And of course, no matter how many movies, games or popcorn was on hand, they always seemed to find something to fight about.

Case in point ... one afternoon I came back to my desk to find this note from Amanda:



















So this is like really bad, right? I mean, punching your sister in the privates? REALLY!? And yet all I could do when I saw it was laugh.

Maybe it was the "No Joke!!!!" part that got to me ... you know, like when you're in church and know you're not supposed to laugh, but something just strikes you funny, which makes it virtually impossible not to laugh? Yeah, kinda' like that.

Licked

Sometimes I am beyond flabbergasted at what I see my daughters doing.

Last night was no exception.

I walked into Megan's bedroom to make sure she was getting her pajamas on, and stopped dead in my tracks when I saw my topless 8 year old licking her armpit. Yes, you read that right.


Me: WHAT are you DOING?!

Megan: Licking my armpit.

Me: Why would you do such a thing?

Megan: I wanted to see if I could do it.

Me: Alright, but what would make you wonder if you could do that in the first place?

Megan: I saw it on a show.

Me: Really.

Megan: Yeah, they dared a dad that he couldn't do it, and when he did, he said, 'Is this some kind of biology experiment?' And they said, 'No, it was just to make you look silly.'

Me: Okay, well stop licking your armpit and get your pajamas on.

Now THERE'S something I never thought I'd hear myself say!

Profound Parenting

There are days that I just don't feel like parenting. Okay, MOST days I just don't feel like parenting, and it's on those days that I allow things to slide. Yesterday was one of those days ...


It was about 50 degrees when the girls and I left the house for church, but when I saw Megan walk out the door wearing flip-flops, I just looked the other way.

And when we were waiting for the communion elements to be passed out at the end of the service, and I looked next to me to see Megan pickin' at her bare toes, I just smiled like it was perfectly normal, reverent and sanitary.

Then later when we were in Henry's office and I saw Amanda looking longingly at the donut she'd thrown in the trash before the service,

I heard ...

Me: It's okay, you can still eat it. It's not touching anything gross.

Megan: The gum you spit out is on top of it.

Me: Well, yeah, but ...

Megan: Don't eat it Amanda! It has mom's slobbery gum on it!

Amanda: There's no slobber.

Me: Yeah, Megan. My gum doesn't have slobber on it.

Amanda: I'm eating it.

Me: You should.

And she did!! My daughter ate a donut OUT OF THE TRASH, because I encouraged her to!!

That Mother of the Year award is mine for the taking. I can feel it.

The Pasta Hater ...

... not to be confused with The Pasta Whisperer. ;)

Okay, it was late.

I was tired.

And yet I was still expected to fix dinner. How is that fair, I ask you?

So I went for something easy ... pasta and sauce (the sauce being from a JAR, of course.)

Megan: What are you making for dinner?

Me: Pasta and sauce.

Megan: I HATE pasta!!

Me: Sorry, that's what we're having.

She storms off in a huff (because that ALWAYS makes me scrap the original dinner plan and go for something else!?)

10 minutes later ...

Me: Dinner's ready!

Megan sits down and looks in her bowl: Yummy! Spaghetti!!!

Me: I thought you HATED pasta.

Megan: I do, but I LOVE spaghetti!!

Note to self: Don't ever refer to Macaroni & Cheese as Pasta with Powdered Orange Sauce.