Tuesday, February 11, 2014

My New Best Friend

I was chatting with a friend a while back, about my {sorry gentlemen} monthly mood swings (MMS). She told me she takes a B-100 daily to combat her own MMS. 

B-100? What in the world? Why have I never heard of this?! You better believe I ran out to Trader Joe's and bought me some!

Now while we women take our B-100, there's also a little something for you men who are married to women who suffer from MMS. Just ask my husband. A few years back he downloaded an app (P-Calendar on AppBox) that WARNS him when my MMS is about to hit. Can you EVEN BELIEVE such a thing EXISTS?! I don't know if I should be insulted or empowered by that. What I DO know, is that this app helps him know which nights he's better off working late. Like wait-till-she's-in-bed-ASLEEP late.

Okay, back to ME ... I took my first one last week, and boy was THAT a good thing!!

Not only was my body turning on itself, but my 5th grader brought home THE WORST math assignment EVER.

It was 50 problems (and isn't "problems" the PERFECT word to describe math questions?!) reviewing the last chapter studied. Or maybe it was reviewing the last TEN CHAPTERS ... it certainly felt that way to ME.

Megan had completed about 1/3 of the assignment, so the first thing I wanted to do was check those answers for accuracy before moving on.

Now it's easy to check your kid's math homework when you KNOW HOW TO DO IT. Not so much when you can't remember ever doing such problems when YOU were in school. 

I had to keep searching back several pages to find examples and teach myself how to do the stuff before I could figure out if she'd done it right. And even THEN, I wasn't sure if she'd done it right or not. HOW SAD IS THAT?!

The fact that I did not break a bazillion pencils or throw the math book out the window, is a clear testimony that the B-100 I took that morning WORKS. Oh sure, I was irritated, but I was composed the entire time. Can you say MIRACLE PILL?!

Once the torture session was over, Meg was free to do whatever she pleased, while I still had to make dinner!! And don't you know, this was the first night in MONTHS,  I had planned to actually GRILL CHICKEN and MAKE MASHED POTATOES. When do I EVER cook?!?!? NEVER!! I'm telling you, if it weren't for the B-100 ... I would have piled everyone in the car and driven to Taco Bell STAT.

Then after dinner, it was time to help Meg memorize ALL the parts of the HEART for a test the following day. SURE!! WHY NOT?! It's not like the kid needs to take a shower, or brush her teeth, or heaven forbid SLEEP tonight. Let's just do math and study the heart ALL NIGHT LONG.

When I finally collapsed into bed at 9:30, I couldn't believe all of my loved ones still had their heads attached to their bodies. Not one head had been bitten off by me. NOT ONE. Bless it.

By the next afternoon, the B-100 was definitely in my system. How do I know? Because when Meg told me that most of her class {or was that "class PARENTS?"} had bombed the math homework, and had the opportunity to CORRECT THE WRONG ANSWERS THAT NIGHT, I did NOT have ONE homicidal OR suicidal thought!! TRUE STORY.

AND I lost track of how many times Meg thanked me for helping her with her homework. Her mouth kept saying, "Thank you for helping me, Mom." But what she meant was, "Thank you for helping me, without losing your patience and yelling like a crazy lunatic, Mom."

So there you have it ... B-100. If I could be a paid spokesperson for the stuff, I would. Why? Because then I could PAY someone ELSE to help Meg with her 5th grade math from you know where!! ;)


  1. I take B vitamins every day! Yes, as much for the family as it is for me! Love your blog. :)

  2. Love it, Dave!! Maybe I should get extra for Henry!! AND THE GIRLS!!