A few weeks ago, I had an itch on the top of my left foot near the base of my toes. I had socks on, and assuming it was a bug bite or something, I just went to town scratching my little heart out for about 10 seconds. The itch finally subsided, and I went about my business.
Later that evening, I noticed that the same area where I had scratched earlier was extremely sore. "Now what?" I wondered. So I removed my sock to investigate.
OH. MY. WORD.
What my eyes beheld was dis-GUH-sting. Somehow a blister had developed during the day between two of my toes. REALLY?!
Okay, what to do? WHAT. TO. DO?!
Do you pop a blister like that to relieve the pressure, or leave it alone in hopes that it just seeps back into your skin?
I wasn't sure, so I googled "blister care", or something like that, and made a very interesting discovery. One of the websites said that there are two main reasons a blister develops on a foot:
1) Poor-fitting shoes. (The shoes I wore that day fit fine.)
2) Scratching an already infected area. (Who knew?!)
So I knew why it developed, but still wasn't sure how to care for it, because several of the websites contradicted each other when it came to blister care. I finally decided to leave it in tact, and just cover it with a bandage containing Neosporin.
Anyone still reading this blog post? Did I lose you with the photo? TMI right? Well there IS a punch line coming, I promise. Gosh ... I'm looking at that blister photo and getting grossed out all over again. I may have crossed the line this time. But hey, now y'all know that I have a freckle on one of my toes, so that's cool, right? And WOW my toes are WRINK-LAY!!! Sheesh!! I got me some old-lady toes!
Alright, back to the blister. After 4-5 days, the blister popped. It didn't hurt, but when I dried the area with a towel after showering, I found it to be VERY sensitive. (Mental note: Only DAB freshly popped blisters with towels, never RUB them, because RUBBING will make you wince big time, as well as scream a little.)
A few weeks after the poppage, the girls and I were sitting at Taco Bell enjoying a lovely carb-filled lunch when Megan starts looking through the photos on my phone. It didn't take long for her to arrive at "The Blister" photo.
Meg: Eww!! What ever happened to that anyway?
Me: It popped.
Meg: Did it hurt?
Me: Not the popping part, but something I did after that hurt.
Meg: Did it bleed?
Me: No.
Meg: Did it ooze stuff?
Me: No.
Meg: Did you suck it?
Okay. Read that again.
Megan asked if I SUCKED IT!!!! REALLY?!?!? All I could do in response was throw my head back and LAUGH MY GUTS OUT.
THIS, sad to say, is EXACTLY the kind of scenario that makes me so happy that I procreated. To know that I had something to do with the world gaining another human with the same twisted sense of humor as myself.
Life is beautiful (and at the moment, blister-free.)
The girls and I have been on Christmas Break for 6 days now, and of those 6 days, 4 of them have included dental appointments (1 for them and 3 for me.) We probably could have worked in 2 more if dentists were open on SATURDAYS & SUNDAYS!!! Not exactly how I'd envisioned my vacation, but whatev. (That's right. I just typed 'whatev', because that was hip and cool like 2 years ago. So go ahead and be jealous, yo.)
Alright, being December 19th, I figured I should maybe think about Christmas shopping. Not actual shopping, just the thinking part.
Bad idea, because hello??? Five more days. FIVE MORE DAYS. THAT IS ALL, and I have like 2 gifts.
It's not like I don't know what to buy. My daughters have been adding to their (you wish!) lists for the last few weeks, so I know what to get ... after I win the lottery, that is.
Seriously though, neither of the girls have any big ticket items they're wanting this year (praise GOD), but Meg has been quite vocal about one thing in particular, which she said she saw advertised at Walmart. So while I knew it was a risk to enter a Walmart this close to Christmas, I did it anyway this afternoon. I guess I'm just that dedicated desperate.
Oh Walmart. Today was a very bad-smelling day for your patrons. What was weird, was how that same smell kept slapping me in the face in different parts of the store. Definitely body odor of some kind. Not the armpit variety, but rather the, "I don't bathe regularly, but when I do, it certainly isn't thoroughly" kind. So sad, and nasty. Their scent probably saved me a ton of money though, because it kept me out of several aisles I thought I wanted to explore. THAT SAID, can we all give some kudos to Walmart for maintaining a store where all walks of life feel welcome?! Fantastic. For real.
ANYWAY ...
I couldn't find the thing Meg wanted, so I interrupted the conversation of two employees to ask if they even sold the item. The gal immediately stopped talking to her co-worker (without showing any irritation towards me) and said, "Yes we do. Right this way."
Rather than point me in the general direction, she lead me halfway across the store to where the item is usually on display. When she didn't find it, she said, "It looks like we're sold out. Is this a 'must have' item? If so, I can call another store to see if they have one." I told her that calling another store would be awesome. She said, "Sure, one moment." Then she whipped out her cell phone, dialed a number and got the 411 on Meg's dealy-bob. Before hanging up I heard her say, "Okay, great. Yeah. I'm leaving now. Okay, love you. Bye." She then looked at me and said smiling, "It helps to have your husband working at another store. He said they have one more in stock that he'll hold for you at customer service."
OH. MY. WORD. What kind of crazy good customer service is THAT?! I totally thought I was gonna cry, but held it together and said, "I gotta hug you." She laughed and said, "No, no, I smell like cigarettes." To which I said, "I don't care, we're hugging." So we hugged, wished each other a Merry Christmas, and went our separate ways.
I seriously felt like skipping, and Lord knows if there's ANY store where that would be acceptable, it's Walmart.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
Quite some time ago, the girls and I were playing a form of Pictionary on one of their handheld devices.
Amanda gave me a phrase to illustrate for Megan that I'd never heard before:
If it can't be cured, it must be endured.
Okay. Is this a common saying? And if so, why haven't I heard it before? Probably because it's lame. I mean, it's one of those sayings that goes WITHOUT SAYING. Am I right, or am I right? Whatever the case, I knew that if I'D never heard it, Meg CERTAINLY wouldn't have heard it.
Figuring it was a lost cause, I decided to draw a pill container with a big 'Rx' on it, and then cross it out, followed by an arrow.
Brilliant, I know.
Here's the work of art:
I'll admit that I had my doubts as to whether or not Meg would guess such an obscure saying, EVEN WITH my AMAZING art skills.
What I didn't anticipate, was an IMMEDIATE guess that seemed to be COMPLETELY out of left field.
Meg took one look at the drawing above and exclaimed,
"NO DANCING IN THE PARK!!!!"
Say what???
Yeah. I don't know what I find funnier, the fact that she guessed that from my sketch {All you dancer-types go thata way}, or that somewhere in her brain she's decided that dancing in a public park is illegal.
I love it, actually. It's so ... Megan.
In fact, I've decided that I may just have to yell it randomly
from time to time ...
"Mom, what's for dinner?"
"NO DANCING IN THE PARK!!!"
"Mom, can I have a sleepover tonight?"
"NO DANCING IN THE PARK!!!"
"Mom, are you okay?"
"NO DANCING IN THE PARK!!!"
Oh yes. Definitely yes.
